Yes, you read that right. Your Pollyanna mentor is telling you to say “no.” But this use will help you become a stronger writer. Here’s why:
Say no to self-doubt. Whenever you doubt your ability as a writer think of what you’d lovingly tell your best friend if he/she were having doubts about writing. Then (ack) take your own advice.
Say no to your internal critic. Would you really want to hang out even once in a while with Dolly Downer or Malicious Marvin, that internal critic who tells you that your writing is dreck, that you’re too old, that you’re not educated enough, that your words are simple and that you may as well throw in the towel? Me either so say no to that voice. If you do that often enough, trust, me Dolly or Marvin will shut the heck up.
Say no to those inconsequential things that get in the way of your writing, like finding out what the Kardashians did yesterday, scrubbing the driveway with a toothbrush or redecorating the inside of the fish tank. Frankly, it’s hard to say no on this one and I’m easily distracted. But I say out loud (I do), “Focus, focus and focus.” That gets me back on track.
Say no to anything that interrupts your writing office hours, unless it is essential, urgent or could result in dialing 911 (a small joke). If writing is important, then make it a priority.
Say no to television, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram or your favorite Netflix binge addiction. Go ahead. Weigh the options and determine if whatever time-eater you’re thinking of visiting will help you be a better writer. And if you want to be a better writer, do you want to spend your time that way.
Say no to constantly worrying about if you’re good enough as a writer. Unless you’re psychic, can you know if your WIP, work in progress, is marketable unless you finish the rascal and edit it a half dozen to a dozen times? If you haven’t read Ralph Keyes’ “The Courage to Write” do so. He nails fear and worry. You can read some of his book online and there’s a YouTube video too. Just Google that.
Say no each time your writing is passed on, that is, when it’s rejected. Stephen King to Debbie Macomber to Agatha Christie to Danielle Steele were rejected and rejected and rejected. The difference? They didn’t give up.
Say no to writing when you need a break. I’m all about self-care, especially during these stressful times. Be good to yourself, eat well, exercise, read in your genre, love your family and animal companions, find something to laugh about, hang out safely with friends and take time off. I hung a simple rope swing in my garden and sometimes I just sit there and swing, resting my brain and admiring nature. Yes, say no to work; you need breaks. It’s okay.
Say “no” to stopping before you accomplish your goals.
Was it Kermit the Frog, Rocky Balboa or Emily Dickenson who told us to “Just say no”? Okay, that was a lame joke that was written to, I hope, make you smile. The truth however is clear, it’s up to you to say no to anything that will stop you.
Be strong, be courageous and be ready to embrace yes because it could be just around the corner.
It was lovely to read such positivity on Day 1 of the rest of my life. I have taken your courses, some a few times, and I’m glad to say I finally have some writing gigs doing content work for friends. I offered a one-time, pro-bono, guest blog post or review to build my portfolio, and it worked. Not only am I finally getting my side business of writing off the ground, but I also have more confidence in my fiction writing. The Bubble Method is life. Happy New Year to you and yours!
For me, it was my external critic who fed my internal critic. I had a mentor, that I foolishly paid, who constantly told me how awful my writing was, sowed doubt even when I knew what I had written was better than bad, took credit for my good pieces, etc, etc. I stayed with her too long and still have not totally recovered from her abusive style of mentoring. My inner critic is calming down a bit.
from a printed book, reproduction
This was just the “subtle” kick in in the rear reminder that I needed. I literally have so much going on, and I am guilty of putting my writing on the back burner. That is definitely going to change…
I love this column. I used to spend a lot of time on Facebook and look forward to hopefully using that time writing.
In reading your article it has giving me hope in myself that I can do this. Sometime I have so many things going on it my head that I am also my worst critic about trying to write a book. Thanks for giving me the courage to stop the negative self talk.
Eva, thank you for this word of inspiration and encouragement. Girl, it sounds like you have been where I am! I truly am so learning the power of no. I have come to realize that, yes, NO is a complete sentence when it comes to anything that hinders my writing or hinders me in life.
During this pandemic there are very few I can embrace. However, I can still embrace myself, my love of writing and the power to say no to what hinders my writing. I can still, as you said, embrace yes. Thanks Eva, for reminding of the power of NO as I caress my YES.
(Current student from “How To Make Money From Your Writing” January 2021)